He Said

Getting old. Getting older. I knew this day was coming and that’s whyI married you. I know how you cared for and doted on your mother.

All men should learn this one important fact. If you want to judge how your wife is going to be in the future, look at how she treats her mother. Is she warm, kindhearted and more importantly, does she take care of her mother’s needs? This my friend is an example of how she will be treating you in the future.

Getting back to you and this age thing. Have you noticed that I don’t hear as well? Have you noticed that I am constantly dropping things? Have you noticed that I don’t pick up my clothes every day? Wait a minute, that is not old age, that is just me being lazy and I have done that since I was a teenager so that doesn’t count.

I know I don’t complain much, maybe a little whining from time to time, but I swear, every joint in my body aches. I would say it is from too much exercise, but you would say that’s impossible, because I never exercise. One day my shoulder aches, one day my foot hurts, one day I have a toothache, the next day I have pain in my elbow. Does everyone feel like this at my age or is my body just falling apart in front of me? Why don’t I ever hear you complain about these things? All I hear you complain about is your weight and I have justified that for myself by saying the scales must be broken. That works for me.

Anyway I am thanking you beforehand for your future endeavors as a nurse. Keep up your strength, I’ll need someone to push me in my wheelchair around the mall on Mother’s Day.
She Said

If I remember correctly, you were complaining about pain and trying to
get out of work in the eleventh grade. You have never been one to jump up and down, participate in sports, be outside longer than the time it takes for you to go from the house to your car and back again.

As far as getting older, that’s just a natural part of life and it sure beats the alternative.  I’ll give you three guesses as to how you look at it and the first two don’t count. You have been working towards this day since you were a little kid. You are probably not physically tired, just mentally tired from the challenge of figuring out how to get out of work, how to get out of exercise, how to stay out of sun,how to avoid doing anything that constitutes making an effort. I think most of your “old age pain” is in your head.

My duties as a daughter were no harder than the duties as a mother to my children. I took care of my mother because she took care of me. I imagine it took your mother, your father, your sister, and maybe several cousins to keep you on course. You know if you get sick that I’ll be the first one to take care of you, nurture you, and help you however I can. But be assured I’ll also be the one to kick your behind and get you back in gear.

I know that you will hire someone nice to watch over me while you read, go to movies, and go out to eat. Will he look like Blake Shelton or Adam Levine? This is just part of the pact that I knew existed when we got married. But in all seriousness I, too, have watched how you treat your mother and your children. You are good about calling your mother every day, and visiting every weekend and I think you do all of that not only because you are responsible, but because you truly love your mother and your father.

I know if I get sick in any way that you will be there or send someone to take care of me (either Blake or Adam…doesn’t matter).

 

About The Author

Larry Oldham
President

Larry Oldham is the most honest and talented salesperson on the planet, as well as the most humble. The Virginia Press Association bought in and awarded him the 2010 Outstanding Sales Professional of the Year. He and his wife Dena are known to debate the finer things in life with a little needling here and there whenever possible.