This Highfalutin Marriage Larry Oldham and Dena Hill April 1, 2012 He Said She Said He Said Someone once told me to marry above my raising. I was not sure what that meant then, but I am starting to see what it means now. It means marry someone prettier, richer, and smarter than me. I think with you I have done just that. I don’t think a day goes by when I am not reminded that I have done something else wrong, or not proper, or something just plain gets on your last nerve. I don’t know how many nerves you have in your body, but I am sure that we are getting close to the end with this first year of marriage. By the time we die you will be void of any nerves at all and will be working on just plain common sense. The latest snafu for me is going out to a restaurant with you and being told as we left the premises that I was the only person you had ever met in your life that eats fish with his hands. We are not talking about boiled fish. We are not talking scallops and we are not talking about baked fish covered with all that red stuff. We are talking the All-American deliciously fried fish and chips. As I explained to you, cutting into a battered fried piece of fish with a two inch crust is just going to make that crust come apart and fling over the plate. You are left with just a piece of white fish with no coating. Who can eat that? I did a little experiment the next day. I went to a local fast food fish place and there were a total of ten tables with couples eating fish. Nine out of the ten tables had customers picking up their fried fish and eating it with their hands. So much for highfalutin. As I told you before, a piece of fried fish is like a piece of fried chicken. How many people do you see using a knife and fork to eat a chicken leg? She Said So, you think you married above your raising? That must be a southern phrase; you know all of my relatives are from the north and I’m not used to that one. Let me guess… if you marry someone equal to you, that means you can eat with your fingers, wipe your mouth with your shirt sleeve, put your elbows on the table, and slurp your soup? Honestly, I wasn’t criticizing you when you were eating FRIED fish with your fingers…I just never saw that before. Fish and chicken are two different foods to me and there is a bone to hold on to with chicken, but fish bones don’t offer much support. As far as getting on my last nerve: if it hasn’t happened in fifty years, it probably isn’t going to. Funny thing about your little experiment. You probably went to a fast food fish establishment at lunch time when people were hurrying to get back to work. The EVENING I said something to you about eating with your fingers, we were at a seafood restaurant just a step above your lunch-time delight. But just this once, I’ll let it go. You explained the part about the breading on the fish and how much damage your fork would do to it and I wouldn’t spoil your fun for all of the fish in the ocean!!!