He Said

The year is off to a good start and then, “wham”, February hits.  Once again it is time to talk about “love.” I think about all the different kinds of love that people go through, so naturally, I think about you and me.

We met in high school, stayed friends all these years, went through many trials and tribulations in other relationships, put our high school reunions together every five years, and celebrated the growth in our children’s lives. I even think about growing up without pets and then coming into your life and discovering the love of a dog. Not a deep love, mind you, but an acceptance of having a pet in your life. I understand your need of course, because the dog doesn’t talk back, so you don’t have to listen to her opinions ad nauseum. But, you do spend a great deal of time talking to her, feeding her, walking her, and worrying about why she sometimes doesn’t eat. Now, I am not jealous of your dog per se, but I have not learned to love her with the same depth of feeling that you have. Since we are talking about “love” this month, I wonder if the love that we feel for each other is as deep as the love we feel for other things in our lives…for instance, FOOD.

I do love food. For me, I love food more than the dog. I don’t love food more than you, of course, although country style steak and mashed potatoes sure are scrumptious. I guess the love of bread, soda, fries, and other gastronomical delights can’t really be considered the same kind of affection as the love of a human or even a pet. I just want to be fair and make sure we don’t forget the love of other things that are important. We shouldn’t be self-centered when it comes to love; we should share the limelight. LOVE equals FOOD, er, um I mean, LOVE equals YOU.

 

She Said

Leave it to you to work in your spiel, all the creature comforts that surround you. Yes, you mentioned our love one time, and you skirted around the love of Sophie (whom you refer to as our pet. She’s more like our child). If the truth be known you probably “love” your country ham biscuits more than Sophie or me. You would probably rather have a hot dog from Yum Yum’s and a chocolate ice cream cone than me. So, if you want to know some of the things I love, let’s see.

I really love to redecorate and remodel the house. In fact, there are so many coats of paint on the walls, that I’m sure the house is smaller than when I bought it. I love to sew and I want to learn to knit. I love snorkeling, travelling, and bargain shopping. Notice that I didn’t mention food or eating.

My New Year’s Resolution is to eat to live, not vice versa. I can see that you are growing fonder of food as the years go by and the sight doesn’t look very pretty. I appreciate good food also, but I do know how to temper myself. You writing about your love of food and trying to equate it with February isn’t really endearing to me or our relationship. Maybe I should step back and take a better look at what you say you love and help you get your priorities in order; I promise you that Krispy Kreme doughnuts will be way on down the list. That first priority should be to love me with all your heart even if you are starving to death. After all, I married you until death us do part. Pastor Joe didn’t say that you should eat yourself to death. He said you should honor and obey me until death us do part. I don’t want you to leave early from overeating.

Are you feeling the love yet?

Happy Valentine’s Day

 

About The Author

Larry Oldham
President

Larry Oldham is the most honest and talented salesperson on the planet, as well as the most humble. The Virginia Press Association bought in and awarded him the 2010 Outstanding Sales Professional of the Year. He and his wife Dena are known to debate the finer things in life with a little needling here and there whenever possible.