He Said

October is always a good month for me but not necessarily great for you. I could be wrong about this, but hear me out. As you know, we both have birthdays in October. For me, it is just another day, I’m one year older, and I consider myself a very lucky man. One, because I’m on the right side of the dirt and two, I have you in my life.

The only reason I say that October is a bad month for you is because you never like to tell your age. You also don’t like to tell your weight, but I’ve gotten around that one okay. Before I met you, I worked in the fair and guessed weight to avoid giving prizes. All these years I have really known your weight. To prove it to you, and I know you don’t want this in the public domain, but I guess your weight to be around 114 or 115. Is this pretty close? I don’t see why you should be offended by a few pounds. I have always been self-conscious about my weight even as a teenager. I weighed about 115 pounds in high school. People called me skinny and made fun of me, but since I was a kidder by nature, I could take it. What I couldn’t take was shopping in the kiddie department for pants that would fit me in the waist. It is all right now because I have grown into the big boy department and I can now shop in the adult-size area.

I seemed to have gotten off track as I am somewhat apt to do occasionally. Getting back to your birthday, I just want tosay you haven’t aged a day since high school, and that I am very lucky to share a life of love and celebrations of our birthdays each October.

She Said

Oh no… I’m not falling for that ploy. You guess my weight and then ask if you’re close. KEEP GUESSING. I weighed 103 pounds in the third grade and the teacher yelled it across the room in front of the whole class. I was so traumatized and embarrassed that I’ve never let anyone know my weight since then. I cringe getting on the scales at the doctor’s office all these years later.

I volunteered to help with health screening when my daughter was in elementary school just so she wouldn’t have to go through the same thing. But you’re right about your high school days. You WERE on the thin side but your sense of humor compensated for it and our classmates enjoyed how you entertained them over that and most other aspects of your life.

Weight is a sensitive topic for most women; it isn’t polite to ask a female how much she weighs. You’re wrong about me not telling my age though. I’m the only one who cares, and it doesn’t affect my health. I was born in 1947, and it must have been a pretty good year because I’m still kicking. After we had been dating for a while, we talked about sitting on the porch in rocking chairs and growing old together. I guess after all these birthday celebrations we are getting to a point on the horizon that the front porch and the rocking chairs are coming closer and closer.
Every October as our birthdays come up, I try to decide, is this the year I buy him a rocking chair? Then I think, how would I feel if he bought me a rocking chair for my birthday? And you know, the thing is, it might not be so bad.

About The Author

Larry Oldham
President

Larry Oldham is the most honest and talented salesperson on the planet, as well as the most humble. The Virginia Press Association bought in and awarded him the 2010 Outstanding Sales Professional of the Year. He and his wife Dena are known to debate the finer things in life with a little needling here and there whenever possible.