You have found the perfect mate. He or she is the one who you want to spend the rest of your life loving and sharing through thick and thin. You may ask yourself, “How do you sustain the love you felt the first week, month, or year?”
The root of the question is to understand love is not easy.
Loving someone is one of the most exhilarating feelings you will ever have in your life. To have someone you can always depend on, someone who always has your back, and someone who you can trust twenty-four-seven is truly a blessing.
Making love last is a challenge above and beyond the daily problems, disagreements, and all the trials and tribulations we endure in our daily lives. What separates the successful relationships from the ill-fated ones are many things that most partners understand but don’t put forth in the effort to grow their love. We all know what it takes, but the successful partners work at it.
Herein lies the secret of love—two people working together to make love last.
As humans, we are instilled with a defense mechanism and a feeling of justice for the sake of our own survival. When we insert another human being into our life, the meaning of sharing and giving and sacrificing takes on a whole new life of its own.
Suddenly everything is not yours. Your time, your material things, your feelings, the deep-rooted values you bring from your solitary life, and your upbringing, including your working environment are now being judged or at least shared with another person.
That means two people, sometimes with different needs, backgrounds, and parental training are expected to just somehow fit together. Sometimes it works, but most of the time two people have to make an adjustment to make it work.
This is the new relationship scenario. Now how do we solve this new beginning that we both want so badly to work?
I like to describe it as almost worshiping each other. It is not only honoring your partner but loving that person so much that you are willing to sacrifice your needs to make sure your partner’s needs are being met. How many people do you know who really want to do this?
A foundation of true love supersedes the rules of society. True love demands forgiving, sacrificing, honoring, and giving attention to your partner every day. Our own needs can get in the way of making our partner happy.
When you have deep feelings of love for someone it doesn’t hurt to give up your time for their time. Treating them with respect, agreeing to disagree, adjusting to their lifestyle makes a great relationship. This is true of the opposite partner too, giving and respecting one another.
I have seen couples fight over who can make each other the happiest. This becomes a game they share while trying to please each other. Think about how much you love your parents, your siblings, or your children if you have them. It’s unconditional love. You do what you have to do to please them. Think of your partner in the same way.
Love is a two-way street that leads to a life of joy, happiness, care, and understanding.
Appreciate what you have in your partner.
Remember what the Beatles said, “You have to give love in order to get love.”