Columns

Interstate Bypasses – Reason #11 Why I Love America

I love being able to get where I want to go without having to go through every little Podunk town to get there. That is, when I’m in a hurry to get somewhere. Who really wants to get their hands dirty with the true American life that happens in those small towns? There’s no point... Read More

Reasons I Love America, Web Exclusive

October 1, 2011

Television Evangelists – Reason #10 Why I Love America

TV Evangelists are the fast food drive thru of religion. It’s entertainment, fund raising, spirituality, and education all wrapped into a convenient package you can watch in your boxer shorts on your couch. Why worry with all those one-on-one relationships when you can be a hermit and still revel in the glory of the Lord?... Read More

Reasons I Love America, Web Exclusive

September 1, 2011

Hybrid Cars – Reason #9 Why I Love America

OK, I know that Hybrid Cars are the result on the Japanese automakers beating the American automakers to the punch. But, in America we have turned environmental friendliness into a social club. So here’s the deal. Start with the same vehicle. One’s a hybrid version and one is not. The hybrid one costs about $3500... Read More

Reasons I Love America, Web Exclusive

August 1, 2011

Cheerleaders – Reason #8 Why I Love America

It’s interesting that Cheerleaders show up on this list before any other kind of sports related thing. Cheerleaders are the gender neutral part of a sporting event. Women watch them for their dance, tumbling, throws, and syncopated coordination. Men watch them for their “unique athletic abilities” and for the fleeting chance that they might get... Read More

Reasons I Love America, Web Exclusive

July 1, 2011

Native Americans – Reason #7 Why I Love America

American Indians are the most humble people in America. Their culture was stolen and destroyed by the settling Europeans and despite every negative thing that has ever happened to them, they are still fair traders, honest human beings, and trustworthy friends. I am proud to share this land with them. I believe that Native Americans... Read More

Reasons I Love America, Web Exclusive

June 1, 2011

Banana Pudding – Reason #6 Why I Love America

Banana Pudding is manna from Heaven. Where else but America could you take some cookies, some bananas, and some generic vanilla pudding and somehow make the most delicious concoction ever created? To top it off the cookies and pudding are vanilla and vanilla comes from Mexico and Bananas come from Southeast Asia and were imported... Read More

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May 1, 2011

Big Budget Hollywood Movies – Reason #5 Why I Love America

It is the season of Big Budget Movies. Actually, every season is the season of Big Budget Movies. Here are some of the requirements for a great Big Budget Movie: – Gratuitous CGI – Explosions – Big Name Actors – Pseudo sex but not enough to go over the PG13 rating – A relevant recognizable... Read More

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April 1, 2011

Redneck Jokes – Reason #4 Why I Love America

Redneck Jokes are the last vestige of Freedom of Speech. They are the politically correct way to make fun of a group of people based on their culture. People’s skins have gotten so thin that everyone takes offense to everything. Except rednecks. Rednecks are in on the joke and don’t rightfully care what you say... Read More

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March 1, 2011

Wet Wipes – Reason #3 Why I Love America

Convenient Cleanliness. I’m specifically referring to the wet wipes for the toilet, although the ones for the kitchen, your eyeglasses, and baby bottoms are also in the same family of Reasons I Love America. I’m a stickler for personal hygiene. I have the nose of hound dog. The thought of visiting the emergency room wearing... Read More

Reasons I Love America, Web Exclusive

February 1, 2011

Garbage Disposals – Reason #2 Why I Love America

Nothing in a kitchen is more convenient than the Garbage Disposal. Drop anything you don’t want in your house in it and it disposes of it like magic. Old rotten potatoes…gone. Mama’s special recipe Hamburger Helper…gone. It’s like having your own personal Criss Angel living in your house and making your trash disappear. Anyway, I... Read More

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